He told me not to be scared of dying (before he killed himself)
I saw myself in the rearview mirror in the uber and I realized I’m who I’ve always wanted to be
When I go to my hometown I’m reminded of the bottom from where I started, where you chose to decay
When I spend nights downtown on my balcony studying I know I’m where I’m meant to be, suffering has the biggest pay
I admit I’ve thought about killing myself frequently
(but I’ve thought about killing you far more)
And yeah, I’ll drink coffee all night
I’ll cry in my favourite café
But it’s comforting to know my pain is no longer embedded in you
My pain is what I create for myself
And you have no ownership over any feelings I create
No one does
(not even me)
I know you made a home in my heart
I feel you come and go every day
But don’t you worry I can take it from here
I’ll take your grasp on the steering wheel
Push you far yet keep you near
You’ll find me grinning ear to ear
Because I’m on a higher tier
Became one of your biggest fears
Once a love now a single burnt tear
It’s only downhill for you from here